Lately, I've been learning to recognize how my body reacts in certain situations, specifically during high-stress moments and want to share how I've brought myself out of this state or at least have kept it from escalated.
I'm currently on the hunt for a new apartment. Since moving to Oregon last year, I've relocated twice and now onto my third space, so moving from place to place isn't new. Yet, I find myself in a state of panic and stress every time. Looking back, I recognized this as a trigger since my upbringing consisted of constantly shifting from place to place without feeling grounded in one spot.
I constantly overthink about the what-ifs, worst case scenarios and it starts to take a toll on my mental capacity to juggle everything going on in life like writing articles or keeping up with my own projects.
For example, when this apartment I really wanted turned out to be a scam, it set off my internal alarm system and put me into an intense flight or response response. I spiraled into a negative conversation with myself about how I would end up homeless and no one would want to help me and I'd have to start over and live out of my car.
This is kind of self talk is known as catastrophizing when someone assumes that the worst will happen. Often, it involves believing that you’re in a worse situation than you really are or exaggerating the difficulties you face.
When you're in this state, nothing else makes sense because your body is responding to an ordinary life event as a threatening situation. Your body thinks that the world is going to come to an end. This is also where I tend to isolate myself, stop reaching out to others, and add on more negative self-talk that doesn't even apply to the situation.
Thankfully, I recognized this cycle when I was in therapy last year when my therapist was able to walk me through what I was experiencing in real time and bring me back to the present moment. I've also talked to a few friends about what they do to bring themselves back to center. Thank you Sophia & Amy! Here we go:
1 - Be open to the best-case-scenario:
Yes, I understand that it can be easy to associate worrying or planning around the worst case scenario as a way to protect yourself, but how often does it really turn out that way? Know that the best-case-scenario is an equally possible outcome.
You might not believe it is possible from where you're standing, but at least give it some thought that it could happen too.
In my experience, if I labeled worst-case-scenarios at a 1 and best-case-scenarios at 10, the outcome usually comes out between a 5 to 8.
2- Write down every question or concern you have about the situation on paper:
Writing down your thoughts gives you some space to see your internal dialogue without identifying with them. Know that you are not your thoughts and you can write as long as you need to.
It might feel strange at first to think about what to write, but it doesn't matter as long as you keep going. You can try writing down everything you're feeling in your body (tired, legs aching, palms sweaty, etc) or repetitive thoughts, even a list of concerns you have about your what you're going through. If you're new to journaling and writing in a notebook feels too overwhelming, using a post-it note or index card works just as well.
3- Use a timebox for your emotions:
If writing doesn't feel right, you can set a timer for 15min and feel what you gotta feel. Let yourself cry, be angry, frustrated, confused, or whatever else comes up.
Once you're done, take a couple breaths. Inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 4 seconds.
Rinse and repeat as needed.
4 - Cater to your needs:
Lastly, check in with yourself and ask for what you need. Have you eaten yet or gotten enough sleep? Would it support you to reach out to someone or ask for a hug from a family member/close friend?
You may not know what you need and that's okay too. Keep asking yourself and give yourself the grace for making it through such an uncomfortable ride.
Now, the problem may not have gone away, but now you're in a better head space to take it on. Go back to that list and see if there are any action items you can take in the next 5 minutes. Is it a quick call you need to make? Perhaps an email to set up an appointment? Whatever it is, take it slow and one step at a time. You got this!
I’m not a medical health professional and only sharing my experiences for informational purposes (: