I'm a few months shy of reaching the one year mark since leaving Los Angeles to take a break from working and mostly do my own thing. I've lived off of savings for the majority of this time, aside from some photography gigs and other short-term jobs.
Honestly, I didn't think I was going to get this far without working a full-time job but here I am and I'm not sure that I want to go back or least at the same pace I did before.
There is something freeing about being able to take time to just live life without the demand of an office job. I get to work on music projects for hours on end, hang with friends on any day of the week or go to the beach on a whim without thinking twice about it.
Some friends were in a similar position as me and have now returned to working full-time jobs again. I’ve thought about going back into tech, but I also don't want to repeat the same conditions that lead me to leaving in the first place, which was putting other work/family/life demands before my own.
I spoke with a close friend about my situation and she mentioned the importance of understanding my personal operating manual before making my way back, so history doesn't repeat itself. I had never thought about it that way and I was curious to dig further into what that would look like for me going forward.
Think about how a car works. There are basic functions that all cars have like a foot pedal for gas, and one for brakes, a steering wheel, etc. Yet, they still include an operating manual that usually collects dust in the glove compartment and no one really mentions is because it seems obvious by now to know how to drive a car.
In the past, I've had to crack open the operating manual because I replaced my car battery and needed to know how to reset the radio. There was also much more detailed information about what the symbols meant on the dashboard or how to lock the trunk so it can only be opened with the key. I'm sure if we actually read the manual we'd know more about how our cars work and maybe learn a few more things along the way.
Understanding our own operating manuals aka knowing thyself provides a good foundation to let others know how to communicate and engage with us effectively. This includes knowing what our boundaries are, best forms of communication, learning styles and even our why.
With having so much time to myself recently and learning more about how I work best, I can approach the work environment from a different point of view. I know how to communicate the workload I can take on at any given time or assure my teammates that they will not be receiving work emails after hours and so on.
I have tools that I didn't have before. I know what to do when I start to feel overwhelmed. I listen to my body when it needs a break. I don't have to stress test my brain to the point of burn out to know I need rest, and I know when my body can push a bit more. It starts by finding the balance and taking our health seriously - physically, mentally, spiritually and intellectually (more on this another time).
Of course getting to this space takes time and it's an ongoing process (therapy can help with this as well), but it's a great place to start. This can be especially difficult for those of us who may have trouble knowing what those needs look like and appropriate ways to express them without feeling like they’re being too rigid. This also meant me relearning how to detach my personal self-worth in relation to my career.
Some may not get it at first, but stay firm with your boundaries and those who genuinely care will understand and listen. They may have also never had anyone express their needs so openly before. This works for personal relationships as well.
Who knows, this might be exactly the next step that I need to take in wherever life is leading me to next.
Keep being curious about what's in your operating manual and don't be afraid to share it with others. In fact, I'd love to hear about how you've been taking care of yourself according to your manual. I love learning about ways that I can support the folks I'm working with while taking the time to listen to what they need and how I can contribute to making a great working environment for everyone.